So, this is a random opinion, but I think goats are creepy. Admittedly, I haven't had a ton of interactions with goats, but that's also because I've found them unnerving in the ones I have had. The first thing that's weird about goats are their pupils. They're rectangles! What creature is this that has such weird eyes. Eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul and I think pretty much every mammal (I think) has circular pupils. Why do goats have rectangular ones? It's just unnerving, like they come from some other world.
Now maybe it's just the pupils, but I also feel like they creepily watch you. I mean, look at the photo of the goat in this post. Her name is Louise and she is my friend's goat and I feel bad bashing on her, but just look. Isn't she staring into your soul? Don't you feel like, somehow, she is watching you even though she is far away? Okay, I hope I've made my point that goat eyes weird me out.
The next thing that weirds me out is how they sound. I remember driving with my mom to my summer camp, Circle Pines Center (CPC). I had heard that CPC now had goats and I was a little excited. The camp hadn't had any animals since I'd been there and I thought it could be a fun chore (the camp is a cooperative so everyone pitches in to keep the camp running smoothly) to look after the baby goats (well maybe not quite babies, but very little goats). As we went up the dirt road, I heard the younger campers baaing at the goats. I smiled at the picture in my head of the sweet campers trying to communicate with the kids. I didn't hear the goats baaing back, but I also figured that goats could probably tell that the campers were not their kind of kids.
I don't remember exactly how long it was until I got to see the goats, but I'm going to guess a few days. I got onto the rotation of the chore that involved taking care of the goats and I was so excited, surely little goats would be just the cutest. As we approached the goats, I thought I again heard the campers baaing at the goats, but I realized that none of the campers around me were making that noise. To my absolute horror, I realized it was the goats making that noise. How was it that goats sounded like humans trying to be goats? Does that even make sense? Do goats get confused by hearing us talk because we sound just like them? It was just another unnerving thing to me about these creatures.
Let's talk about how goats eat. Now, I'm not sure if they literally eat metal as often as cartoons would have me believe, but I think they can nom on metal. Digest that for a moment. How many animals do you know that can just munch on a crunchy can AND ARE THEN FINE? Do they need the metal? Are they fueled by it somehow? What did they do before we smelted? Are we super powering them? How is it that an animal outside of a science fiction story eats metal? Anyways, it's just weird.
Also, if they eat metal, I feel like that means they'd eat anything. So they probably eat all sorts of plants (which is fine), but I think they may also eat rocks to help them digest things (or maybe I'm confusing myself with some other animal). Maybe they also eat meat. I mean, if you can eat metal, surely you can digest meat (my non-existent degree in animal biology says yes)? Do goats eat meat? If so...what kind? And do they...hunt?
If they do hunt, they do have a weapon ready at hand (or at head)? Goats is that they have horns. Horns are always dangerous to humans, right? Like goats are kinda small (for the most part), but if they ran at me, I would probably come out the loser in that situation. I'm also now realizing I don't know why animals have horns. Is it so that they can attack each other or fend off predators? Maybe, that'd make sense I suppose. But what if we're perceived as the predators (which isn't crazy considering we do eat goats)?
So, sure, let's just add a weapon on to this creature with creepy eyes, a human voice, and a taste for metal. What would go wrong?
(Prompt by Jacqui Broderick)
Photo by Jacqui Broderick
Now maybe it's just the pupils, but I also feel like they creepily watch you. I mean, look at the photo of the goat in this post. Her name is Louise and she is my friend's goat and I feel bad bashing on her, but just look. Isn't she staring into your soul? Don't you feel like, somehow, she is watching you even though she is far away? Okay, I hope I've made my point that goat eyes weird me out.
The next thing that weirds me out is how they sound. I remember driving with my mom to my summer camp, Circle Pines Center (CPC). I had heard that CPC now had goats and I was a little excited. The camp hadn't had any animals since I'd been there and I thought it could be a fun chore (the camp is a cooperative so everyone pitches in to keep the camp running smoothly) to look after the baby goats (well maybe not quite babies, but very little goats). As we went up the dirt road, I heard the younger campers baaing at the goats. I smiled at the picture in my head of the sweet campers trying to communicate with the kids. I didn't hear the goats baaing back, but I also figured that goats could probably tell that the campers were not their kind of kids.
I don't remember exactly how long it was until I got to see the goats, but I'm going to guess a few days. I got onto the rotation of the chore that involved taking care of the goats and I was so excited, surely little goats would be just the cutest. As we approached the goats, I thought I again heard the campers baaing at the goats, but I realized that none of the campers around me were making that noise. To my absolute horror, I realized it was the goats making that noise. How was it that goats sounded like humans trying to be goats? Does that even make sense? Do goats get confused by hearing us talk because we sound just like them? It was just another unnerving thing to me about these creatures.
Let's talk about how goats eat. Now, I'm not sure if they literally eat metal as often as cartoons would have me believe, but I think they can nom on metal. Digest that for a moment. How many animals do you know that can just munch on a crunchy can AND ARE THEN FINE? Do they need the metal? Are they fueled by it somehow? What did they do before we smelted? Are we super powering them? How is it that an animal outside of a science fiction story eats metal? Anyways, it's just weird.
Also, if they eat metal, I feel like that means they'd eat anything. So they probably eat all sorts of plants (which is fine), but I think they may also eat rocks to help them digest things (or maybe I'm confusing myself with some other animal). Maybe they also eat meat. I mean, if you can eat metal, surely you can digest meat (my non-existent degree in animal biology says yes)? Do goats eat meat? If so...what kind? And do they...hunt?
If they do hunt, they do have a weapon ready at hand (or at head)? Goats is that they have horns. Horns are always dangerous to humans, right? Like goats are kinda small (for the most part), but if they ran at me, I would probably come out the loser in that situation. I'm also now realizing I don't know why animals have horns. Is it so that they can attack each other or fend off predators? Maybe, that'd make sense I suppose. But what if we're perceived as the predators (which isn't crazy considering we do eat goats)?
So, sure, let's just add a weapon on to this creature with creepy eyes, a human voice, and a taste for metal. What would go wrong?
(Prompt by Jacqui Broderick)
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