Perhaps because I've already been to Ireland before, I don't think I've experienced too much culture shock. There is definitely some, though.
I actually find some people's friendliness a bit confusing. I can't tell how much of it is genuine and how much of it is just being polite. I remember the guide on my tour of Connemara offering his card to people if they were staying in Galway longer so that we could meet up for a pint. I wasn't sure how strange I was supposed to find this. In the US, I would have thought it was very weird for a middle aged man to offer to meet up with, essentially, strangers for a drink, but here people seem to make a lot of offers like this. Was I the one being weird for thinking it was weird? This also isn't very helpful in trying to make friends. I want to take people up on offers, but sometimes I'm not sure if the friendly stranger is just being polite.
There is actually also a bit of culture shock just being back in school. Being in school has its own sort of culture that I think I have to get used to again. Our weird schedules affect it for sure. How did I manage having such an inconsistent schedule before? How did I coordinate seeing people? When do you know people well enough to invite them to your dorm-like apartment? How much are you supposed to talk about school and how much are you expected to share about things unrelated to school?
Now being a graduate student there are some additional levels to that school culture. I didn't go to any orientation events because I got the impression that they were for undergrads. Now I can't say exactly why, but they seemed to be stressing a welcome to school vibe and I wasn't specifically informed of them (there were posters up, but graduate students weren't sent any sort of welcome events list). How am I expected to interact with undergrads? Are the societies and clubs meant for undergrads? I want to get involved, but I also don't want to be that weird graduate student who really wasn't supposed to turn up at this event.
Then there is the culture of interacting with people of different ages. In my program there are people as young as 21 and then there is someone with an 18 year old daughter (and I think another has kids who are a bit older than that). We all share this culture now of graduate school, but we're in such different places in our lives. It's something I'm definitely still getting used to navigating.
Meanwhile, I also live with two 18 year olds. It has been 8 years since I've been 18 and I can't remember really what it's like. Did I also think it was okay to just have people over randomly and not check with my roommate (admittedly we shared a bedroom and not a common area)? Did I also think it was okay to blast music and sing along to it (although I must admit that I, so far, enjoy my roommates' taste in music as a lot of it seems to be pop songs I grew up with)? Would I also have gone home my first weekend if I could have? What did I expect of my roommate when I moved in? What did my roommate and I even talk about (I've definitely had more than a few encounters in the kitchen where neither I nor one of my current roommates says anything)? I want to be a good roommate and not too much of a wet blanket, but I also don't want to be a doormat (after all, I'm very serious about my program and need to have an environment that allows me to get my work done). 18 year old culture is definitely a bit of a mystery to me and before moving here, I was pretty fine with that, but now I'm going to be living with it.
Hopefully I'll get a lot of this sorted out soon.
(Prompt by Neil Kaplan-Kelly)
I actually find some people's friendliness a bit confusing. I can't tell how much of it is genuine and how much of it is just being polite. I remember the guide on my tour of Connemara offering his card to people if they were staying in Galway longer so that we could meet up for a pint. I wasn't sure how strange I was supposed to find this. In the US, I would have thought it was very weird for a middle aged man to offer to meet up with, essentially, strangers for a drink, but here people seem to make a lot of offers like this. Was I the one being weird for thinking it was weird? This also isn't very helpful in trying to make friends. I want to take people up on offers, but sometimes I'm not sure if the friendly stranger is just being polite.
There is actually also a bit of culture shock just being back in school. Being in school has its own sort of culture that I think I have to get used to again. Our weird schedules affect it for sure. How did I manage having such an inconsistent schedule before? How did I coordinate seeing people? When do you know people well enough to invite them to your dorm-like apartment? How much are you supposed to talk about school and how much are you expected to share about things unrelated to school?
Now being a graduate student there are some additional levels to that school culture. I didn't go to any orientation events because I got the impression that they were for undergrads. Now I can't say exactly why, but they seemed to be stressing a welcome to school vibe and I wasn't specifically informed of them (there were posters up, but graduate students weren't sent any sort of welcome events list). How am I expected to interact with undergrads? Are the societies and clubs meant for undergrads? I want to get involved, but I also don't want to be that weird graduate student who really wasn't supposed to turn up at this event.
Then there is the culture of interacting with people of different ages. In my program there are people as young as 21 and then there is someone with an 18 year old daughter (and I think another has kids who are a bit older than that). We all share this culture now of graduate school, but we're in such different places in our lives. It's something I'm definitely still getting used to navigating.
Meanwhile, I also live with two 18 year olds. It has been 8 years since I've been 18 and I can't remember really what it's like. Did I also think it was okay to just have people over randomly and not check with my roommate (admittedly we shared a bedroom and not a common area)? Did I also think it was okay to blast music and sing along to it (although I must admit that I, so far, enjoy my roommates' taste in music as a lot of it seems to be pop songs I grew up with)? Would I also have gone home my first weekend if I could have? What did I expect of my roommate when I moved in? What did my roommate and I even talk about (I've definitely had more than a few encounters in the kitchen where neither I nor one of my current roommates says anything)? I want to be a good roommate and not too much of a wet blanket, but I also don't want to be a doormat (after all, I'm very serious about my program and need to have an environment that allows me to get my work done). 18 year old culture is definitely a bit of a mystery to me and before moving here, I was pretty fine with that, but now I'm going to be living with it.
Hopefully I'll get a lot of this sorted out soon.
(Prompt by Neil Kaplan-Kelly)
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