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15 worst first lines for imaginary novels

What opening line could make you bail right away? Also, these are parodies of famous opening lines. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife solely to make his mother happy."—Man Austen, Pride, Prejudice, and Parentage "It was the best of times, it was the tops of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of acumen, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of true understanding, it was the season of light, it was the season of sunshine, it was the spring of hope, it was the summer of wishes."—Charles Tritens, A Tale of One City "As Gregory Sampson awoke one morning from unremarkable dreams, he found himself untransformed."—Frank Coughka, The Stagnation "Many years later, as he faced the firing manager, Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to play solitaire."—Gabriel Garsolo Márquez, One Hundred Cards of Solitaire ...
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Thoughts on 90 Day Fiancé: The Last Resort season 3, episode 9

Honestly, I hope it's time for puppets.  Jenny, you gotta say something! Aw Pao kinda seemed into Russ for him rappelling At first I thought Patrick was jealous, but lol no, he was warning Thais that Shekinah would be Sumit, Jenny wanting you to tell her about taking out $20k loans is not her keeping you on a tight leash Thais, I do agree with Patrick's confusion as to how you didn't realize you could bring deodorant Uh oh, this build up is telling me Russ did not get Pao anything for their anniversary Thais, were you joking about Patrick taking the pregnancy test instead of you? I was pretty sure Thais wasn't pregnant because she has not recently had a child (but she could've been pregnant and the pregnancy could have sadly not resulted in another child) AHHHH PUPPETS! Rebecca, you don't have to criticize Shekinah's outfit... Archery is a fun date, I'll give Russ that I mean, honestly, I know we're teasing Russ for Pao doing better, but I would'...

15 more of my favorite episodes of Game Changer

If you don't already know, I'm a big fan of Dropout TV's Game Changer . Here are 15 of my favorite episodes in chronological order (but please also read my "15 of my favorite episodes of Game Changer" post):  "Battle Royale," season 5, episodes 10-13 "The Newly Web Game," season 6, episode 2 "Sam Says 3," season 6, episode 3 "Bingo," season 6, episode 5 "Beat the Buzzer," season 6, episode 7 "One Year Later," season 7, episode 1 "Crowd Control," season 7, episode 4 "The Drinking Game," season 7, episode 5 "Rulette," season 7, episode 7 "Fool's Gold," season 7, episode 8 "Outvoted," season 7, episode 10 "Samalamadingdong," season 7, episode 11 "Don't Wake Standards & Practices," season 8, episode 1 "Rulette 2," season 8, episode 2 "Count the Rice," season 8, episode 3 (Prompt by Dante Gonzalez) Game Chang...

"And Then I'll Poo" a "How Far I'll Go" parody

So I recently learned that a song that is sung to one of my nephew's to encourage him to pee in a potty has helped at least one other kid do the same, but that a new soon about pooping in the potty was needed. I decided to do a parody of "How Far I'll Go" by Lin-Manuel Miranda and featured in Moana . Enjoy? I've been sitting at the edge of the potty 'Long as I can remember, never really set to try I wish I could do the perfect squatty So I come back to the potty, but time always goes awry Every snack I take, every cheese I mac Every thirst I slake, every meal leads back To the place I know, where I need to go, where I also pee See the room where the poo meets the pee? It calls me And no one knows, my poopy woes If the signs in my paunch and my gut say behind launch Then soon I'll go Once I know, there's just no telling how much I'll know I know everybody in my household uses toilets, in this household Everyone goes on their time I know everybody in...

15 of my favorite episodes of Game Changer

If you don't already know, I'm a big fan of Dropout TV's Game Changer . Here are 15 of my favorite episodes in chronological order (stay tuned for part 2):  "Lie Detector," season 1, episode 1 "Whodunnit," season 1, episode 4 "Sleeper Agents," season 2, episode 3 "A Sponsored Episode," season 2, episode 4 "Yes or No," season 2, episode 6 "ChangerCon," season 3, episode 3 "Never Have I Ever," season 3, episode 6 "Sam Says," season 4, episode 1 "Like My Coffee," season 4, episode 2 "Noise Boys," season 4, episode 3 "Race to the Bottom," season 4, episode 8 "Sam Says 2," season 5, episode 1 "Karaoke Night," season 5, episode 2 "Like My Coffee 2," season 5, episode 3 "The Bachelor," season 5, episodes 7 & 8 "Battle Royale," season 5, episodes 10-13 "The Newly Web Game," season 6, episode 2 "Sam Says 3,...

Thoughts on 90 Day Fiancé season 12, episode 12

Time for some family secrets and tensions to be made apparent. Wow Catie is actually showing some interest in the wedding Catie, you do have to help with these things Catie, Josh didn't say that it's your fault that customs called you, he's saying it's your fault that you then didn't communicate that information to him Debby, when has Mido EVER shown interest in you? WAIT. WHAT?! MIDO IS PROPOSING?! Oh dear god. Mido's eyes during this proposal are giving me menacing Also, I would NOT be okay with my partner doing this Mallorie, I think lots of people's ideas of what they'd wear to their wedding changes over the years Mallorie is funny Mallorie does look so pretty Mallorie is talking about not wanting to have kids, yes? I am suspicious of what Ashia really told her family (ah, okay, last minute vacations do seem to be Ashia's norm) I mean, I do think there is a time limit on things for Ashia That said, Ashia and Maxwell shouldn't get married Mari...

15 locations in science fiction I'd like to visit

There are also ones I'd avoid, but these could be fun! Triumph, Firefly Risa, Star Trek Endor, Star Wars Ariel's bioluminescent lake, Firefly The Omicron Delta region, Star Trek Scarif, Star Wars The Bellerophon Estates (a guided tour--not robbing them like the crew), Bellerophon, Firefly Nibiru (assuming I can find a way just to take in the nature and not upset the local inhabitants), Star Trek Ahch-To (but I'd want company), Star Wars The Londinium Museum, Londinium, Firefly The Holosuites, Deep Space 9, Star Trek Naboo, Star Wars The Sea Wolf Tavern, Londinium, Firefly Casperia Prime, Star Trek Cloud City, Bespin, Star Wars (Prompt by Leah Foster) , Photo by Cash Macanaya on Unsplash