What opening line could make you bail right away? Also, these are parodies of famous opening lines. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife solely to make his mother happy."—Man Austen, Pride, Prejudice, and Parentage "It was the best of times, it was the tops of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of acumen, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of true understanding, it was the season of light, it was the season of sunshine, it was the spring of hope, it was the summer of wishes."—Charles Tritens, A Tale of One City "As Gregory Sampson awoke one morning from unremarkable dreams, he found himself untransformed."—Frank Coughka, The Stagnation "Many years later, as he faced the firing manager, Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to play solitaire."—Gabriel Garsolo Márquez, One Hundred Cards of Solitaire ...