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Gnomes vs. Fairies

"Those fairies, thinking they're so high and mighty just because they can fly," grumbled Grayson. "We gnomes have every right to these tiny houses that they do."

"I know, dear, but what can we do about it?" Grayson's wife Lily said in a voice she hoped was reassuring. Fairies didn't bother her as much as they bothered Grayson, but the housing market was a nightmare and she was due in just a month. They needed to find a home.

"In the old days, we would've taken this to the council and gone to war," muttered Grayson, watching the fairy family get led on a tour of the house that was his and his wife's dream house. It was the perfect size for them, Lily loved the red borders on the windows, and it was close to both of their jobs. But now these fairies were probably going to get it.

"Well I, for one, am glad we don't live in the old days," replied Lily, absently touching her stomach.

Grayson hadn't been listening. A thought popped into his head. An idea of how to scare off other buyers. "Stay here," he said to Lily as he strode up to the house where the fairies were just emerging from. "You two looking at this little house? You know it's haunted, right?"

The fairy couple's eyes went wide.

"No, no it's not," piped the fairy realtor, flitting her wings in annoyance. "This is a prime piece of real estate and there are absolutely no ghosts."

Grayson snorted, "Come back her at night then, folks. My wife and I were thinking of getting this place, but now we're not so sure if we want to raise our child in a haunted house."

"Again, it's not haunted," said the fairy realtor. She seemed a bit distressed that her words were having no effect on her clients. She knew she needed to act quickly, "Tell you what, I'll take you back here this evening and you can see for yourselves."

The fairy couple quickly agreed and their realtor shuffled them away from Grayson as quickly as she could. Little did she know that that had been what Grayson wanted all along.

Later that evening, the realtor unlocked the tiny home once more. "Now there is nothing to worry about." However, she was in part saying that to herself, she really didn't want to lose this sale to her gnome realtor competitor, he always got the best houses.

The three fairies fluttered through the home and, at first, nothing seemed amiss.

CRASH

The fairies jumped together in a cartoonish huddle. "Must just be the wind," the realtor said.

"Whoooo gooooessss there?" came a moaning voice. The fairies couldn't figure out from where though, adding to their fear.

"We're the Higgenbottoms," said the wife in a shaky and high voice, "we were just taking at look at the house."

"You daaAAAaaare disturb my slumber?" came the voice, louder and angrier than before.

"We--we were just looking for a new home," said the husband in a voice that quaked more than his wife's.

"BE GONE," boomed the voice and the three fairies didn't need to be told twice, they zipped out of the house without even locking it behind them.

As Grayson climbed down off the roof, he dusted the soot from his hands. Who knew that gripping a chimney so you could drop a rock down it and scream into it would get your hands so dirty? He smugly took out his phone and rang his wife, "Sweetie, I think we got the house."

(Prompt by Kimisha Cassidy)

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