"Goddammit, Dennis, he's going to notice us," muttered Clark to the fellow swan who was the worst and swimming nonchalantly. This, of course, made Steve perk up because it meant he wasn't going to be the one to ruin the surprise.
"I'm swimming normally," Dennis said back in a voice that was hardly a whisper.
Dammit, Dennis, Clark thought again. The plan wasn't a good one, he'd give them that, but it was tradition. On your birthday, you were suppose to get dunked by your friends. Goofy? Sure. Immature? Definitely. Fun? Absolutely (when it wasn't your birthday). But it was Richard's birthday and, stupidly, Clark had asked Dennis and Steve to help.
If only Sam had been free. Sam knew the fine art of subterfuge. But Sam had some cygnets and now was too busy to dunk a friend on their birthday. Dammit, Sam.
"Am I doing okay?" asked Steve in a voice that, while quieter than Dennis's, was still not a whisper. Thank god that they were still pretty far from Richard and that it was a noisy day in the city.
"Yes, fine, just shush," Clark whispered.
"What?" Steve almost yelled, prompting Richard to turn his head back to look at them for a moment. Dammit, Steve. Luckily, a passerby threw some bread Richard's way and he quickly turned away from them again.
The thing about this tradition was that, while every swan new it happened, it was still supposed to be a surprise. You weren't meant to just float and wait for three of your friends to come along and dunk you. They were supposed to plan it so you didn't see it coming. But this year Richard's birthday had snuck up on Clark and the plan hadn't improved much from 'what if we just follow him and wait.' Dammit, Clark.
If they had been closer when the bread was thrown, it could've been a perfect moment, but Richard quickly ate up the few bits of bread and went back to just people watching and craning his neck elegantly so they would take photos of him. Richard really could be vain little cob now that Clark thought about it. Dammit, Richard.
Clark abruptly stopped. "Okay we need a better plan, guys. This isn't going to work."
"Oh shut up, Clark. Someone else will throw something in soon enough and then we just have to swim really fast to catch up-" Steve began to say unhelpfully.
"That' won't work. I think one of us should go up and start a conversation with him and then the other two can sneak up," Clark said as surreptitiously as he could.
"Brilliant!" cried Steve, shaking his tail feathers in excitement.
"I got it," said Dennis, ruffling his feathers in preparation. Before Clark , could object, Dennis was truly terrible at small talk, off Dennis went.
"Richard, good to see you!" called Dennis.
"Dennis," nodded Richard.
"So, are you having a normal time today?"
"Am I what?" Richard craned his neck back far in confusion.
"You know is everything normal. Does everything seem normal on this very normal day where nothing is going on," Dennis finished quickly.
Clark and Steve made their approach, hoping to take Richard's confusion for the distraction they needed, but as they moved to pounce, Richard just scooted a little ways away leaving them to splosh head first into the water.
"Guys," said Richard, slightly amused, "you know my birthday was yesterday."
Dammit.
(Prompt by Kimisha Cassidy)
"I'm swimming normally," Dennis said back in a voice that was hardly a whisper.
Dammit, Dennis, Clark thought again. The plan wasn't a good one, he'd give them that, but it was tradition. On your birthday, you were suppose to get dunked by your friends. Goofy? Sure. Immature? Definitely. Fun? Absolutely (when it wasn't your birthday). But it was Richard's birthday and, stupidly, Clark had asked Dennis and Steve to help.
If only Sam had been free. Sam knew the fine art of subterfuge. But Sam had some cygnets and now was too busy to dunk a friend on their birthday. Dammit, Sam.
"Am I doing okay?" asked Steve in a voice that, while quieter than Dennis's, was still not a whisper. Thank god that they were still pretty far from Richard and that it was a noisy day in the city.
"Yes, fine, just shush," Clark whispered.
"What?" Steve almost yelled, prompting Richard to turn his head back to look at them for a moment. Dammit, Steve. Luckily, a passerby threw some bread Richard's way and he quickly turned away from them again.
The thing about this tradition was that, while every swan new it happened, it was still supposed to be a surprise. You weren't meant to just float and wait for three of your friends to come along and dunk you. They were supposed to plan it so you didn't see it coming. But this year Richard's birthday had snuck up on Clark and the plan hadn't improved much from 'what if we just follow him and wait.' Dammit, Clark.
If they had been closer when the bread was thrown, it could've been a perfect moment, but Richard quickly ate up the few bits of bread and went back to just people watching and craning his neck elegantly so they would take photos of him. Richard really could be vain little cob now that Clark thought about it. Dammit, Richard.
Clark abruptly stopped. "Okay we need a better plan, guys. This isn't going to work."
"Oh shut up, Clark. Someone else will throw something in soon enough and then we just have to swim really fast to catch up-" Steve began to say unhelpfully.
"That' won't work. I think one of us should go up and start a conversation with him and then the other two can sneak up," Clark said as surreptitiously as he could.
"Brilliant!" cried Steve, shaking his tail feathers in excitement.
"I got it," said Dennis, ruffling his feathers in preparation. Before Clark , could object, Dennis was truly terrible at small talk, off Dennis went.
"Richard, good to see you!" called Dennis.
"Dennis," nodded Richard.
"So, are you having a normal time today?"
"Am I what?" Richard craned his neck back far in confusion.
"You know is everything normal. Does everything seem normal on this very normal day where nothing is going on," Dennis finished quickly.
Clark and Steve made their approach, hoping to take Richard's confusion for the distraction they needed, but as they moved to pounce, Richard just scooted a little ways away leaving them to splosh head first into the water.
"Guys," said Richard, slightly amused, "you know my birthday was yesterday."
Dammit.
(Prompt by Kimisha Cassidy)
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