This was a harder prompt than I thought it would be. I think it is in part that I often have trouble taking a compliment. I like to deny or evade or quickly move on to a different topic. Or I just don't take compliments truly to heart; I think people say them just to be nice or polite like when you compliment someone's outfit and they quickly do a scan of yours to find something they can compliment. Or maybe, for some other reason, compliments just aren't that memorable to me. Perhaps I'm alone in this. Or maybe not?
I avoided this prompt for a while because when I thought about it, I could only think of a blank page. I could think of some small compliments people had given me, but they didn't mean a ton to me. This afternoon though, I finally thought of it. My Wi-Fi kept me out of writing a post for a while and my nap delayed me further, but here I am!
My favorite compliment came when I was in high school. I was at our math team picnic and was preparing to head out. I honestly couldn't tell you anything else about this picnic other than it was the setting for my favorite compliment. I think it was at someone's house, but I couldn't tell you where in the city it was, how formal it was, what I wore, if I took any pictures, or (with 100% certainty) what year it was (I believe it was 2010, but could've been 2009, but now that I do the math I feel like it had to be 2010).
Another member of the math team, who was two years younger than myself and to whom I had been a PAL (Payton (my high school) Advisory Leader). This meant that I had spent a fair bit of time with her and knew her very well. She was bright (both in intelligence and in temperament) and kind. She came up to me as I was leaving. I can't remember the order of these two things that were said and both make sense, so put them in the order you like best.
She herself had applied to be a PAL, but had been rejected from the program. I told her to apply again the following year because I had recommended her and I believed she would be an excellent addition to the program. She then (or right before then) gave me my favorite compliment. She told me that she looked up to me and admired me. I was so incredibly touched. I have always liked to think of myself as a leader and, at that time, I felt like I really had everything together and that I was all set to make my way in the world (I've done my best, but it's proven harder than I expected).
I was so touched that we hugged and then I left. I would see her one more time before I left Chicago for college. After seeing Toy Story 3 with my friends, it turns out she had been in the theater too. She hugged me again then and told me she would miss me. I told her the same.
This compliment stands out to me because it was so kind and (I believe) so genuine. It wasn't about a specific thing I'd worn or a specific thing I'd accomplished or a specific thing I'd even said. This person complimented me on the way I was, and (at least it felt) on the whole of me. And, somehow, despite it being so general, it felt so definite and thoughtful. It felt like she had taken the time to think about how to tell me this.
I'm realizing now that even in writing about this I feel a bit awkward. Is it really okay for me to talk about how much I liked a compliment from so long ago? Does that make me really egotistical to think that a compliment given by a high schooler to another was so monumental? Is it weird that this is the compliment I picked as my favorite?
Like I said before, I have some trouble taking compliments.
Anyways, every now and then I see how she is doing on Facebook and whatnot and smile. This memory, fuzzy though it is, always surfaces when I see an update on her life.
I hope she is well.
(Prompt by Sara Carminati)
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