Skip to main content

Zoom hang

 Another Crazy Ex-Girlfriend parody song! Watch the original "Group Hang" here.


[LEAD, spoken]

The night was going lonely, amigo. I was having a microwave Mexican meal. Or Cali-Mex... Cali-Mex-Italian...

I don’t really know what this food is! But my time all alone was cut short by the scheduled call of Zoom...

 

[ENSEMBLE]

La la, la la la!

 

[LEAD]

It was a Zoom hang, Zoom hang

We’re staying so safe in a Zoom hang!

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

Do we really need all these windows?

 

It was a bright, shiny world

For you and me

And a magical place

Where we wandered free

Then Corona showed up

And tore us apart

It’s a force of evil

A knife through my heart

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Jack box, Among Us, trivia games, Netflix party watches!

 

[LEAD]

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

We’re staying so safe in a Zoom hang

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

I'm so afraid of crashes!

 

Now you’re telling a story

'Bout some neighbor Dirkwad

And how he doesn’t mask

What a jerk he is

Feeling left out, so I jump in and say:

 

(spoken)

I had a friend named Dirk once. He just got COVID and no one can come to visit him.

 

(sung)

It was a Zoom hang, Zoom hang

It just got weird in this Zoom hang

Zoom hang, Zoom hang

It makes me so blurry sad

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Why don’t we meet up at my house?

 

[LEAD, spoken]

That’s not soc’ly distant!

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Latest COVID numbers, Twitter, Trump

Newest quaran-hobbies, future trip plans

Sharing nostalgia vid, without sound

 

[LEAD, spoken]

Does the host know what screen sharing is?

 

[LEAD, sung]

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

What’s this virtual background click thing?

 

[LEAD, spoken]

I mean, really, am I crazy? There are—I know there are people with tech degrees talking on this call.

 

(sung)

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

How are they not offended, with the total failure to use technology? Is it just me? Maybe it’s just me.

 

(sung)

We’re staying so safe at a Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

I feel like I’m alone but also not on this call.

 

(sung)

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

Y ahora la parte más temida de andar con el grupo. ¡El adios!


(Prompt by me)

"Journalist Lucy Morgan with video camera and phone" by Florida Memory


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

15 things you'll think about during your dad's latest hospital stay

This is meant to be a related piece to "15 things to do in your dad's hospital room," "15 Things You Find in Your Dad's Hospice Room," and "15 Things You Find When You Clean Out Your Dad’s Apartment" .  The Christmas lights at the nurse's station that should really have been switched for saccharine cupids by now What team decided to hang up a clearly labeled DRAFT safety sign Who comes up with the aliases they seem to use for trauma patients and how they decided on Redstone for your dad That his skin either looks like a bruised elephant or like sickeningly conflicting colors of thin paper mache Where you can possibly get food--you're shaky The patient in the ER somewhere with a lot of ammo, but no gun, or so they say Why the staff is being so happily loud and swearing...it feels discordant The used bandaid and gauze that are left on the floor of his ER room as he moves to his hospital room...the last proof he was there Having to do this a...
Post a Comment
Read more

15 things I'm looking forward to for summer 2024

It'll be here so soon!  Whale watching with a friend Bookstore crawl with a friend 57th Street Art Fair Beach days Movies in the park Swapping out my wardrobe Being done with egg retrievals (hopefully) Helping a friend plan her wedding Going to Galena Taking other trips with friends Doing more sessions of my D&D one shot Eating ice cream on hot days Dining at the Point Trying to find an agent for my picture book ideas (hopefully) Reading more (hopefully) (Prompts by me) "Sperm Whale diving" by Bernard Spragg. NZ
Post a Comment
Read more

15 facts about my dad

Just been thinking about some lighthearted facts I know about my dad lately. When he was young, he had a goldfish named Lysander He introduced me to Star Trek At Christmas, he would tear up at It's a Wonderful Life He used to send me articles from his Yahoo email account that he thought I'd like We used to play a game called "Nightmare" where he would lie down and we'd jump around (and sometimes on) him He would clip possible recipes for us to try out of newspapers and magazines We bought him a Paddington Bear to take on trips because we feared he'd be lonely and he always took it He had teddy bears for three different holidays We once had such a hilariously difficult time building a gingerbread house that when some frosting ended up on the counter, I plopped a gumdrop on it and we laughed until we cried He and his sister were born about 11 months apart We would try recipes from Top Chef He kept gifts I made him, even when they weren't great At Christmas, ...
Post a Comment
Read more