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Zoom hang

 Another Crazy Ex-Girlfriend parody song! Watch the original "Group Hang" here.


[LEAD, spoken]

The night was going lonely, amigo. I was having a microwave Mexican meal. Or Cali-Mex... Cali-Mex-Italian...

I don’t really know what this food is! But my time all alone was cut short by the scheduled call of Zoom...

 

[ENSEMBLE]

La la, la la la!

 

[LEAD]

It was a Zoom hang, Zoom hang

We’re staying so safe in a Zoom hang!

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

Do we really need all these windows?

 

It was a bright, shiny world

For you and me

And a magical place

Where we wandered free

Then Corona showed up

And tore us apart

It’s a force of evil

A knife through my heart

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Jack box, Among Us, trivia games, Netflix party watches!

 

[LEAD]

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

We’re staying so safe in a Zoom hang

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

I'm so afraid of crashes!

 

Now you’re telling a story

'Bout some neighbor Dirkwad

And how he doesn’t mask

What a jerk he is

Feeling left out, so I jump in and say:

 

(spoken)

I had a friend named Dirk once. He just got COVID and no one can come to visit him.

 

(sung)

It was a Zoom hang, Zoom hang

It just got weird in this Zoom hang

Zoom hang, Zoom hang

It makes me so blurry sad

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Error, error, error, error, crash report, arriba!

Why don’t we meet up at my house?

 

[LEAD, spoken]

That’s not soc’ly distant!

 

[ENSEMBLE]

Latest COVID numbers, Twitter, Trump

Newest quaran-hobbies, future trip plans

Sharing nostalgia vid, without sound

 

[LEAD, spoken]

Does the host know what screen sharing is?

 

[LEAD, sung]

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

What’s this virtual background click thing?

 

[LEAD, spoken]

I mean, really, am I crazy? There are—I know there are people with tech degrees talking on this call.

 

(sung)

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

How are they not offended, with the total failure to use technology? Is it just me? Maybe it’s just me.

 

(sung)

We’re staying so safe at a Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

I feel like I’m alone but also not on this call.

 

(sung)

A Zoom hang, Zoom hang

 

(spoken)

Y ahora la parte más temida de andar con el grupo. ¡El adios!


(Prompt by me)

"Journalist Lucy Morgan with video camera and phone" by Florida Memory


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