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We go to watch a matinee and see a manatee instead

"I'm excited that we did this."

"Yeah, playing hooky is the best."

"Is it playing hooky if we both took personal days?"

"Shh. It's more fun if we say we're playing hooky."

"Okay, fair enough."

"This movie has gotten great reviews."

"I've heard, but I haven't read them."

"Yeah, best to avoid spoilers."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Avoid spoilers."

"Maaaybe."

"Oh it's not fun if you know who did it."

"It is fun to make you think I know who did it though."

"Har dee har har."

"Anyways, it's been forever since I've been to a matinee."

"Yeah adulting and all that."

"Adulting sucks."

"Hear, hear."

"Hence why we played hooky."

"Indeed."

"Wow we really can sit pretty much wherever we want."

"Yeah there's someone in the front row, but I don't like sitting there anyways."

"Let's sit in the row with the railing in front of it."

"Oh yeah, we can put our feet up."

"If we'd gone to the fancier theater, we could've gotten the seats with the foot rests."

"And we could've paid for that. The railing makes a perfectly good foot rest."

"Fair enough."

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh."

"Don't shush me."

"Shhh."

"Fine, I'll talk quieter. What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get a look at the person in the front row."

"Why?"

"I like people watching."

"It's weird when it's just us and them in the theater, stop it."

"But--"

"C'mon, just watch the ads like a normal person."

"But--"

"Remember when there weren't ads in theaters?"

"But--"

"Ah the good old days."

"But I think the person is a manatee."

"Har dee har har."

"No, seriously, look."

"I will not."

"Why not?"

"Because then you'll just do the whole gotcha thing and I really don't want to do that."

"I promise I'm not doing that."

"You always promise you're not doing that."

"I super duper promise?"

"Fine."

"You'll look?"

"Yes, I'll look."

"Well?"

"Holy shit."

"Right?"

"That's a manatee."

"I told you!"

"I know, but you can understand why I didn't believe you, yes?"

"I suppose so."

"What do we do?"

"What do you mean what do we do?"

"I mean do we report the manatee to someone?"

"You're speciesist."

"What?"

"Well, why can't the manatee be here?"

"Because we bought tickets to a matinee, not to a manatee."

"But surely they already had to see the manatee come in."

"I--I suppose."

"So surely the manatee is allowed to be here."

"Your logic is frustratingly logical."

"I'm often told that."

"So do we just sit here and watch a matinee with a manatee?"

"I guess so."

"Should...should we go say hi?"

"What?"

"Should we go say hi to the manatee?"

"Manatees don't speak English."

"Manatees don't go to matinees."

"Fair point."

"I say we go say hi."

"Won't that be weird?"

"This already is weird!"

"Shhh!"

"I'm going to go say hi."

"Fine I'll come too."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Oh my god you talk."

"Some."

"We're delighted to meet you."

"Yes, can we sit with you for the matinee?"

"Sure."

"Oh the movie is starting."

"No, just the previews."

"I like the previews so shush."

***

"Well that was a good movie."

"I saw the twist coming."

"Only becuase you had spoilers."

"Are...are you going to leave?"

"I'm here for all matinees."

"Can I ask why?"

"Typo."

(Prompt by Kimisha Cassidy)

"Here's Looking at You Kid - Meet a Florida Manatee" by the U.S. Geological Survey


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