"American Pie" rewritten to be about my body image issues

I have had this song stuck in my head so I got some feelings out by rewriting it.

A long, long time ago, can't even remember

When my body didn't used to make me flinch

And I know if I had my chance

That I would gladly go into a trance

Then maybe my own stomach I wouldn't pinch

But teenhood made me wince

And every photo ever since

Bad views in the mirror

I can't see any clearer

I still remember how I cried

When my closest friend became a bride

But something touched me deep inside

The day myself I eyed

So, bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

Did I see any self-love?

And does it come with a boxing glove

If I myself tells me so?

Do you believe in restrictions?

Can diet save your predictions?

And can you teach me how to see beauty?

Well, I know that I loved me once

'Cause I know that I had some innocence

I scorn what I can see

Can I sometime again have glee?

I was a hating teenage wistful girl

Without guys to give a whirl

But I knew I was no pearl

The day myself I eyed

I started singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

Now for decades I've been on my own

Wishing my abs would just turn to stone

But that's not how it came to pass

When the young girl asked to be seen as queen

She told herself she wasn't lean

In a voice that sounded like glass

Oh, and while the girl was looking down

Her conscience stole her sparkly crown

The echo was unmasked

No kindness was asked

And while the girl read a book on looks

The whole world said she was without hooks

And she ashamed her own nooks

The day myself I eyed

I was singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

Despise, disguise, or myself chastise

My friends offer another apprise

But I saw through offered vows

I landed among the cows

Through posts of starvation I did browse

And the mindset of restriction did arouse

Now, my thirties here are danger still

Cause my thinking it still fits the bill

I near got up to dance

Oh, but I never got the chance

'Cause my psyche tried to take the reigns

Focusing only on my gains

Do you recall all of my chains

The day myself I eyed?

I started singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

Oh, and there I was, trying to brace

An entire self lost to face

With no time left to start again

So come on, me be active, me diet

Inner voice just be quiet

Distortion's disorder's only friend 

Oh, and as I watched myself reflect

I saw my own visage wrecked

No savior born of clay

Could make that curse not stay

And as the disgust climbed high into my brain

To ruin my every vein

I wish that I did not ever deign

The day myself I eyed

I was singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

I was a girl who sang the blues

Though I hoped to get some nuanced views

But I just hid and closed my eyes

I went and asked for learned aid

Yet I didn't want to feel weighed

And the help there said I could have allies

And in my sheets, my ego screamed

My psyche cried and I wasn't redeemed

But no comfort was spoken

My thinking all was broken

And the desires I wanted most

A partner, love, or someone close

They would certainly think I am gross

The day myself I eyed

And I was singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"

I was singin', "Bye, bye, the innocence of past

Now occupied with wide, but the wide was passed

And my good old days of sayin' it was a blast

Sayin', "I'm never gonna be that vast

I'm never gonna be that vast"  

(Prompt by me)

"A Reflection Of Herself-HSoS!" by Jo Zimny Photos. Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic.