15 things I learned from 15 different first dates

Recently, my friend Sonia wrote an incredible list of men she'd dated since her first boyfriend entitled "The one...". Her list was so insightfully written that I got inspired, so here's my take on that idea: "15 things I learned from 15 different first dates"

1. From the man who mentioned in motley ways his family's impressive cumulative cop count, I learned that I do not like men propositioning me for a second date on the first (they usually pick up on this eventually)
2. From the man who was a costumed blind date, I learned that my self-cherishment can be easily crumpled (friends always help iron it out though)
3. From the man who drove in from the suburbs to grab a generic chain-brand coffee with me, I learned that sometimes men are actually better looking than their profiles would suggest (this is not a guarantee)
4. From the man who only walked with me in a park, I learned that men really do think negging will work (it will not)
5. From the man who thought he was winkily suggesting I could have him that night if I wanted, I learned the vitality of holding the line (I have yet to be wrong for doing so)
6. From the man who told me nearly immediately that he could foresee me being his partner, I learned that my pace is unhurried (frenzied paces make me lose my footing)
7. From the man who used his declared awkward devotion to defend his forward allusions, I learned that flattery is different than fixation (one can be appreciated by both, the other only by those peccant)
8. From the man who took me to see Moonlight, I learned that shared awe and hope is crucial (the lack is irreparable)
9. From the man who tried to hide his vape cloud from the bartender, I learned that rule breaking has to have a cause (rebels without one are only magnetic in their own delusions)
10. From the man who was sober, I learned that sometimes missing details can be key to understanding (yet, understanding is not the same as wanting)
11. From the man I met in a Galway cafe, I learned that some men cannot keep disappointment from their faces (or, perhaps, they do not even try)
12. From the man who asked if he could kiss me, I learned that people pleasing is not in deference to my pleasure (I have not yet learned how to best adjust even when an unwanted tongue is thrust my way)
13. From the man who took me ax throwing, I learned that sometimes men give all the signals that they are interested and ready, but are not (they may tell you gently)
14. From the man I met as part of a paid study, I learned that there are still some good ones out there (but they may be out of reach)
15. From the man who let me name our two-person trivia team, I learned that it is possible to start again (that road is not easy, but it is traversable)

(Prompt inspired by Sonia Soto)

Photo by Maria Kovalets on Unsplash