Fifteen Minutes of Scrawl

Obadiah thought he was one cool cat. He thought he was just the talk of the town, the big cheese, the king of his castle. And how could he not be? he thought, Obadiah was the coolest name around . Only the best names are given to Marvel villains, right? Certainly villains never get dumb names that connote lameness. And if a name was so old it was in the Bible, then certainly it just had to be the spiffiest name. Only posh and hip names come from old texts. Obadiah thought the name conveyed his strength and stealth and so he strutted around proudly with the name. Luckily, being a cat, he would never understand that his owners had named him that because he was quite the opposite. Obadiah was an elderly cat and was actually weak and a bit pathetic looking. It was clear that he had once been a vibrant orange tabby, but now his color was faded and something had happened to his fur that made it grow in odd patches. Obadiah clearly thought that this made him look scrappy and tough, but rea...

I never saw that before and I never want to see it again, but I was going to see it again. It was kind of what I had signed up for, wasn't it? I mean, I had agreed to be a babysitter and it's not like changing a diaper was really anything out of the ordinary for that job. But staring at poop and then watching a spray of pee coming straight at your eye is not a sight you're ever going to relish, no matter how much you love your best friend's kid. Sure, it was nice that you were giving her and her wife a night off so that they could go be just a couple again. And sure, their son was one of the cutest babies I had ever seen, but that didn't make his poop or pee any cuter. Fighting my gag reflex was a bigger struggle than I imagined, but I got little Rob changed. Although, this hadn't fixed his fussiness. He was fussy cause his diaper was dirty and, after seeing its contents I can't really blame him, but now that his diaper was changed, he was still fussy. M...

This was bad. Undeniably bad. Catastrophically bad. How could I have been this dumb? Was it even possible to be this dumb? I mean, apparently it was, but it shouldn't be possible to be this dumb. Like dear lord, how did I misplace my coffee cup? Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal. You misplace a disposable coffee cup and oh well, you're out a few bucks, no big deal, and then you go buy more coffee if you really need it. But this time my coffee cup didn't have coffee in it. No, no, it only had the USB drive I was supposed to secretly hand off in it. I had gone through all the trouble of ordering an extra hot coffee and requesting an extra cup to insulate it in (I had even spent time doing this at the same coffee shop for a few weeks so it didn't seem like an out of the ordinary request). After finishing my coffee, I dumped the used cup in the bathroom and kept the lid. While in the bathroom, I also slipped the USB drive into the coffee cup (there aren't c...

"What if it's state secrets?" "Photographed state secrets? Wouldn't state secrets be on a USB drive not a memory card?" "Some state secrets have to be photographs or videos." "Fair enough." "So what if it's state secrets?" "Then there is a really terrible spy out there if they're leaving a memory card with state secrets in an uber." "Well what if it's private investigator photos?" "Again, then there's a very bad private investigator out there." "You're not fun with this game." "Who said it was a game? I only told you I found a memory card in my car." "And since you're an uber driver I thought it'd be fun to speculate on all of the people you've had in your car and make up stories about them." "See, again, that was you coming up with a game, not me." "Games are fun." "Sure, but what is mor...

Well I must be quite famous if my life is going to be made into a set of postcards, aren't I so fancy? If my life was the theme of a postcard book, here are a few things I think would be in it: Alligators. Yeah I've already talked about this on the blog, but alligators are my favorite animal and Steve Irwin was a childhood hero, so I know that they would have to feature prominently. My family. If I'm famous, I bet people would be dying to see pictures of me and my family. Luckily, as someone whose mom takes a ton of photos, this would be easy to oblige. There could be birthdays, graduations, museum visits, beach days, and weddings. So many to pick from. My friends. Now, I inherited the shutterbug gene from my mom (who got it from her mom, to be fair) so I've taken literally thousands of photos of my friends (don't believe me? check my Facebook) so there would have to be a ton of these. We have prom pictures, selfies, graduation photos, weddings, various theme p...

So I don't think I'm going to be able to come up with a coherent toy idea in 15 minutes (why did I ever write that as a prompt?), but I figured I could reflect on what I liked in a toy as a kid and what I as an adult would like to see in a kid's toy for 15 minutes and then maybe something would spring up? We'll see. Adult me would like a toy that can be easily cleaned. Yeah I know this is a boring thing to think about, but honestly kids can be so grubby and if they love a toy, that toy is going to get grubby. So one that can either be put in a washing machine or washed with soap and water is ideal. Kid me would like a toy that can bend and move. This is a bit vague, but honestly one of my favorite Barbies was my friend Saskia's soccer Barbie who would bend her knees and elbows. I thought it was so cool that I could actually make her move around and sit and pose. So I think a toy that could be used to act things out would be very fun. Kid me would like something...

Centuries ago, an ancestor of mine was riding her horse into town. She needed to get there quickly if she wanted to get the best fabrics, they always went quickly. Her name was Elizabeth and she was trying to earn her family money by sewing dresses and the like and selling them on market days. The rush to get the fabrics was not without its drama, but Elizabeth usually managed to ride into town and use her charming smile to get what she needed. This day though, she made a grave mistake. In her hurry, she didn't notice the large spider web spun in the underbrush and she ran her horse right through it. Suddenly, Elizabeth heard a terrifying high-pitched scream. Rearing her horse, she spun to see if someone was in trouble, but only saw the broken spider web. A moment's silence passed before another scream. Elizabeth saw it was coming from the gossamer web. She dismounted and carefully crouched down, her disbelieving mind telling her that surely some larger creature must have bee...

We tried to think of something new to do with our afternoon. We always did the same thing every weekend. First we met up at Sam's house, it was the most the central, had the most space for all of us, and Sam had the most relaxed parents so they didn't mind a group of teenagers coming over every Saturday morning. Once we were all there, and some of us were always late although who exactly was late varied from time to time, we would raid Sam's kitchen for food and we always found at least some cereal, but usually we found some good pastries as Sam's parents really were the best. During breakfast, we would all try to think of something new to do, but we'd always settle on the same thing: walk to the park, then go by the movie theater and see if there was anything we wanted to see (there never was so we'd just check out the newest movie posters and come up with our own plots for them since we never saw the previews), get lunch at our favorite diner, and then we'...

So I don't work out much so I'm not sure why I wrote this prompt, but a prompt is a prompt. Here are some ideas for workout videos (and for all I know they already exist) and, because I had some ideas, workouts in general. Workout videos with your pet. Now surely some of these exist, but I'll elaborate. I would like to see some yoga videos that you can try and do with your pets although this would be hard considering most pets would probably just be confused. I'd also like to see some typical workouts incorporate animals. What if I try squats while cuddling a puppy? Can I do a pushup with a cat on my back? How man curls of an iguana can I do? Really this is me trying to get me at all interested into working out and incorporating a cute pet would definitely be a way to do it for me. Captain on the deck. Now did anyone else play this game? There are a bunch of versions of it, but one person is the captain and calls out a bunch of different orders that tell the players...

I drew back my curtains to let some of the dim morning light in. I didn't relish waking up, but really I needed to. The dim light seemed to brighten as I managed to get the curtains all the way open, casting delicate rays of sunshine onto my almost forgotten rose. Valentine's Day had been a few days ago and I hadn't wanted to just dispose of the rose the same day, so I'd put it in a glass of water. I wasn't sure how long to keep it because while I enjoyed the sight of the deep red petals, I didn't want to keep it so long that it became like the rose in Beauty and the Beast , petals falling off one by one until some sort of curse is sealed forever. For now, I decided to keep it, but I wish I had positioned it a bit better. The rose had ended up with one side smashed against my eggy yellow wall so that now it flat on one side. But still, I wanted to keep the rose. Having the rose in my window allowed me to imagine that I had some sort of grand romantic past th...

So it's already week six of my semester and that's sort of terrifying. Before too long, I'm going to have to figure out how to go back into the non-student adult world and that makes me nervous. I'm going to have to start so many things over again and change habits that I had to change to be a student again and even for a bit I'm going to have to balance the two. After classes are over, I'm going to stay in Ireland until my lease is up because, since it's student housing, I've already paid for it, so why not? Currently, my plan is to then live at home until the summer is over. There are a few reasons for this. One is that it will save me money (gotta love that student loan fun) and another is to relieve some stress on myself. You see, after classes end I still have work to do. In August I will have to turn in a 30,000 word portfolio of writing made up of at least two pieces of two different genres. Now once I come back home, I will need a job and a pla...

This morning's puzzle was proving to be a tricky one. My husband and I had our bed wedged in a corner so we could make more space in our room, but this was clearly going to have to change as I was now wedged between him and the wall with an ever growing pressure on my bladder. Now, you're probably thinking, why don't I just scoot my way to the end of the bed? Ah well that would be a mistake. You see, I have our sleeping infant daughter, Aria, on my chest and at the foot of the bed are our very lovable, but very loud when awakened, sleeping dogs. There is the big German Shepherd named Shaggydog and our small but incredibly yappy part Chihuahua part Rat Terrier, Lady. Shaggydog is, of course, on my side of the bed and so if I nudge him at all (which really would be the only way to climb over him while holding a sleeping baby), he'll wake up and go into full guard dog mode and start barking as loudly as he can because (of course) only something evil could have woken him ...

"Vikki, come here a second, would you?" Vikki, who had just turned off the TV and was planning on calling it an early night, somewhat begrudgingly headed into the kitchen. "Yeah, Mom. What's up?" "I have something I want to give you." Vikki's mom, who was also named Victoria as it was a family name, placed a small metal box on their wooden kitchen table. "It has a bit of a story, so would you sit?" Vikki wanted to go to bed, but figured it would be rude at this point, so she sat down across from her mom and waited for her to start. When Vikki's mom stayed silent, Vikki observed her for a moment. Vikki had always been told she looked just like her mom. They had the same dark brown eyes that everyone called lovely, they had the same somewhat curly hair that liked to defy any attempt to be made orderly, their noses were both thought of as being a good size, and their lips curled into the same smile when they were happy. But now, Vi...

Okay so I forgot to ask Kimi if her prompt of what book/show/series I'd insert myself in meant that I would be myself in the world or if I would be adjusted to fit that world, so I'm just gonna do both. If I'm just myself Star Trek . So while without adjustment I probably couldn't join Starfleet, Star Trek has an Earth where there everyone is taken care of and prejudice is incredibly lessened. Sure, without some majorly new information it would take me a bit to adjust to the world, but I'd be doing that with free housing, food, education, and healthcare. Plus teleportation would make travel so much easier and isn't that the dream?  One Day at a Time . I just finished binging this on Netflix and I can't recommend it enough. Since this is a sitcom just set in our world, I wouldn't really need to be adjusted. But if I could go hang out with the Alvarezes (including the honorary ones), I would feel so special and so loved. Now, go watch this show. Sco...

Sheep hadn't had thoughts before, so it was odd when one occurred to Sheep. Sheep someone knew that Sheep had been nomming on computer files for quite some time. Trying to recall, Sheep thought that Sheep had arrived on this computer through a click on an ad that was somehow even less than the site it had appeared on. After that click, Sheep and Sheep's fellow viruses had swarmed this computer. One virus's job, Sheep now realized, was to try and collect all identification and ban information. Sheep decided to think of this virus as Librarian. There was another, perhaps more benevolently created virus, that scanned for illegal activity and then sent the files to an internet watchdog group that sometimes aired on the side of alerting police and sometimes aired on the side of extracting their own justice on the perpetrator. Sheep decided to think of this virus as Sherlock. There was another virus whose job it was to send copies of all of the viruses, including Sheep, to all ...

True dark is not something a city girl like me is used to. We have lights everywhere and if there isn't light you start to get nervous. We cityfolk think our lit up skyline is one of the most beautiful things int he world, glittering against a dark sky like stars (that we can't see because there are lights everywhere in the city). No, true dark is always on the outskirts, in the country, or in the wild. Where there is no light pollution, no cabs, no sirens, no streetlamps, no late night restaurants, there is true dark. I have always been frightened by darkness. Perhaps this is because I'm not used to it as a city girl, but for whatever reason I have many memories of turning the lights off on our second floor before racing as fast as I could to my bedroom, trying to outrun the darkness that was nipping at my heels. In third and fourth grade, when I was scared of mummies, I became convinced that one would hide in the darkness of my closet. My solution to this was to leave m...

"So what's the plan?" "My plan was to follow your plan!" "You know, I'm really tired of you just assuming that I'm always going to plan everything." "Are we really getting into this now, Karen?" "You know what, yeah, yeah we are. I planned our anniversary, I've planned all of our dates and vacations, I even planned our visits to your mother." "I certainly never asked you to do that." "Well if I waited for you to ask me, then we'd never get it done!" "And that would be fine." "Oh sure, let's make your mom hate me even more. What a great plan, Steve." "She...likes you fine." "You're a terrible liar." "I'll take that, but seriously we need a plan." "Why don't you make a plan for once?" "Karen, we're trying to get this job done right, shouldn't the better planner make the plan?" ...

Man do I have a lot of memories of working at 57th Street Books. I guess I'm just going to dive in with some things you can expect if you work at a bookstore. You'll meet the best book people. If you're a book person, working at a bookstore is going to have a fair few perks, one of which is working with other book people. Now, they may like very different genres than you, but you can still have amazing discussions about books with them. One of my favorite memories from working at a bookstore was sitting down with the children's manager and us going through the children's section and the history sections (which I tried to curate). I got answers to some questions that had haunted me as a bookseller ("My child is a very advanced reader, so I want to give her a book that's challenging, but doesn't have any mature content. What would you recommend?" "What's a good realistic fiction YA novel?") as well as just got to hear about what she ...

So I'm at a cafe sans laptop, but this prompt seemed a good one to do by hand! (Prompt by Fiona Comer)

Sour candy makes me think of being a kid. We used to dare each other to see who could sustain the sour candy in their mouth the longest. It was a test of bravery and daring. Could you handle a warhead or only sour gummy worms? Would you make that fish face or manage to keep a pasted on, sly expression? Yes, sour candy was the test of coolness that we all hoped to pass. I was never very good at it though. Sure it was funny to watch people make faces and spit out the candy when they just couldn’t take it anymore, but really there was so much better candy. Why would I try to prove myself by doing something I didn’t like? Wouldn’t it be better to prove myself by doing something I did? I liked to think that I proved myself by being one of the best people on the tire swings. Now, this not only meant knowing that it was smartest to run for the farther and more prickly tire swing as it ensured that you got a tire swing at all, but I was also very good at making them spin fast. Some kids wo...

So, as everyone knows (or should know), alligators are my favorite animal. I think they're beautiful and they won evolution (like seriously, they did, just look up some of the stuff they can do). If it was a good idea to employ alligators (which, to be fair, it is not), here are some ideas for what jobs they'd be good for. Security. Now this would be good because just having an alligator in front of a door would discourage anyone from going inside it even if the alligator was not trained to do anything.  However, they also have incredible jaw strength and could easily fend off an intruder. Also, alligators have really great healing abilities (like can get a limb ripped off, hop into a swamp, and then not die of either blood loss or blood poisoning) so they'd be great security employees. Deliverymen. Okay so admittedly this would be a bit terrifying for people, but alligators can swim incredibly fast and it'd be easy to attach some sort of sack to their back so that ...

My last confession was about ten years ago. I really only did it because my mom wanted me to. I had always found the whole thing creepy. Some of this was because I had never liked confined spaces, never have and, I imagine, never will. Big and open and wide is how I like to live my life, not small and stuffy and tight. Whenever I went into confession, I always felt like those little walls were closing in on me and so I wanted to get the confession over as quickly as possible. Now some of that desire for speed surely also came from being embarrassed, I had always done something wrong (hadn't we all?) and it was the nagging feeling that my mom knew I had done something wrong and thought I needed to atone. Moms always know when you've done something wrong, that is what they'd like you to believe anyways, but in making me go to confession it just seemed to confirm all of that to me. She'd look at me before I went in and it was like she knew I had sneaked a piece of my cla...

Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and fur associates, I live in a small town in Maine and everyone kinda knows each other. It's that typical place you see in every true crime show ("it was a peaceful town until..." "a sleepy east coast town..." "a pleasant community where nothing ever happened...") where the biggest crime that had been committed was people stealing each other's gigantic Christmas lawn ornaments (and sometimes having them up was really the bigger crime). Anyways, that all changed Halloween 2013. A 13 year old sweet baby angel named Lisa (after her grandma) Albertson went missing. She was dressed up as a witch and last seen ringing the bell of a house her friends had given up on (apparently they let her go by herself and continued on to the next house). Even though they realized quickly that they couldn't find her and called the police, she wasn't found until 13 days later in the woods outside of town. She was dead, but there...