Fifteen Minutes of Scrawl

 Will we meet Georgi in person this episode? Darcey...therapy is a great idea for you Stacey brought so much stuff for such a short trip Was Florian saying he could fix the construction sites? I love that both Florian and Stacey are in camo Florian, honestly, Stacey knows better than you how to join in New York City Wait...men aren't allowed to live in the house...even if they get married? Stacey, you don't know how to turn off the wipers? Why is it not possible to fix it later? I'm surprised to see Florian have this much emotion Darcey, aren't your kids old enough to be at dance class without you? I love how much the other moms want to ignore Darcey Oh thank goodness Darcey is going to therapy So when is Florian meeting Stacey's kids? Ah Florian likes to talk to old people...that's why he likes Stacey Oh man it's COVID. It's actually really interesting to see the first rumblings of COVID start to pop up in reality TV I think Darcey is scared of losing S...

 Is it too much to ask to watch Paul get punched in the face? Who is Heather? Hey a fellow Smith! Larissa wants to be like a blow up doll? Eric, did you think surgery wasn't risky? Karine is smart to go see a lawyer Yikes this is the first time she's gone somewhere without Paul? So pretty much Karine needs to leave without Paul knowing Wow the florist is beautiful It's so weird to see these sweet moments between Angela and Michael because they also have such terrible ones What does Angela have in her bra now? How come we always miss the biggest fights? I appreciate that Kalani's mom is up front and honest about her own marriage Oh right, Colt is now living with Vanessa and making goo-goo eyes at her Jess's hair really is a beautiful color This cat cafe is so poorly decorated Sounds like Colt sent a ton of unsolicited dick pics Oh man this trip is probably when Jess meets up with Larissa Colt...you're going to take her home before you tell her Vanessa is there? C...

 Every episode I ask myself, "Will this be the episode Brittany tells Yazan that she's married?" So let's find out. Omg baby party will be so cute Oof that is a sad backstory for a party I love how they both realize their moms are a lot Deavan, now isn't the time to talk about what you think of cooking This translator is doing them dirty I like that Ari's mom likes Biniyam Ari, I still get confused that you call Biniyam baby when you're having a baby Ari, right now it's just for two weeks (although, she is pregnant so hormones are gonna be crazy) Kenny...I feel like meat from the head is pretty self explanatory Kenny doesn't eat guacamole??? Kenny, did you seriously not look up how to ask where the bathroom is? Kenny...how have you not seen bathrooms like this? Have you never been to a gas station? I love Armando teasing him about his age Kenny...you're a dad...you've stood in pee before Also, Kenny, why not just go pee in the street? Oof I...

 Okay maybe this episode is double trouble because it's the second one. Am I funny yet? Is it too much to ask Darcey and Stacey to swap places at least once during this show? Okay, take a shot every time someone says "protector" or some form of "protect" I wonder if Florian wants kids Florian's town looks beautiful I feel like 8 visits over the course of 5 years isn't enough...but maybe they went elsewhere too? Hey model and Instagram influencer is a solid job choice for 90 dayers How do you love someone if you can't communicate? I mean...Stacey...so far he's only seen an airport...it can't feel that different than other places Florian does seem pretty reserved Stacey just wants to get it on in the parking lot Wow Florian ate her face Darcey's dad is cute Yeah describing Darcey as Amy Poehler in Mean Girls feels accurate Take a shot Ah we've met Reina before Are Darcey and Stacey that different? Stacey is grounded? Also take a shot wh...

 Aaaaand...I'm caught up! My god, Ramona, a lot of stuff causes anger...I don't think Googling helps Ramona, you intentionally sent the anger article to the group text? I can't believe Ramona can't see why this might be upsetting to Dorinda I love Dorinda's pants Ramona, how are you blaming Luann for this??? Ramona...I don't think Dorinda is worse than your father who specifically wrote in his will that he left you nothing Pooping in your robe and on the floor is disgusting I doubt the wine is bad, Ramona I love how Leah is upset that she wasn't on the bad text thread Ramona, you choose to make things difficult I mean, I think they only need Sonja to close the door for the shot...because the camera crew also has to exit I do fully support Ramona going to therapy Ramona's therapist is very attractive No one likes feeling bad, Ramona Enrique is cute I do wonder where the communication fell through here... It's so harsh to say you don't like your ki...

 I'm so close to be caught up and I didn't even realize this season wasn't over already! I love that Dorinda is waking the other ladies up by saying there are hot trainers Dorinda's shirt says "spiritual gangster" and it's too much I love that Luann has them kiss her hand Yeah like...why are people not understanding that Sonja and Leah have some work to do? Leah was here first...you all could've picked somewhere else to eat Yeah don't bring up menopause Sonja...you are so wrong about the Salem witch trials These men were fully vetted beforehand and I know this because they already agreed to be on camera Poor Dorinda Making yourself have diarrhea is not healthy, Leah Sonja, you are also always in heat Get it, Leah Dorinda shouldn't have coffee right now, Ramona Why did you film Leah making out, Ramona? Isn't a stag a male deer? It's pronounced se-no-tay, not se-no-toe Ah yeah Leah would want to be the more dominating one The group share ...

 "Back on the Hump" is a great episode title "Ramona really needs to keep my vagina out of her mouth" Ramona, what did Dorinda do to you? Ramona is not normal Dear lord, Sonja, do you not look are your medicines' instructions? I did miss what Dorinda said to Luann, but I'm sure they'll tell me again Yes, Ramona, most emotions become a problem when you can't control them So I guess Leah and Ramona actually made up Dorinda, if you didn't want to ride a camel...why did you arrange this? I love flashback footage of Luann's Moroccan camel ride Please stop making innuendos about the camels Luann and this guy make good dance partners This guy has lots of drink carrying tricks "Criminals have dicks just like anybody else" But yeah assuming they're criminals is racist "You smell it, you like it, you go for it" I love Luann making an absolute fool of herself in that light up shawl I also love Dorinda making a fool out of herself...

 Time for some distracting reality TV. I'm not saying that the spa day is a bad idea, I just think it shouldn't be Luann's only idea. She should really help them netowrk and get them good interview and job clothes I think the bangs work for Luann I do think Sonja needs help cause like grinding someone on a couch at a party is one thing but like stomping on glass and breaking it while fashioning a giant hat for yourself is another thing Luann...you were not at the wrong place at the wrong time. You were driving drunk Dorinda has glass in her foot??? Ramona is a little awkward Okay, tbh, I will never not have a birthday party for myself So I get it that Leah is upset, but like this event is more important It's definitely a vibrator, but that's hilarious This place is incredible I do not get why it is so upsetting that you had to pull her dress down Also, the number of girlfriends has been at times 40, at others 50, and at others 60 Sonja...you did not reel it in eithe...

 Ready for a distraction! Wait what is Michael lying about? Angela, just lie to his family for a bit like why don't you just lie to keep his family happy...what does it matter? Angela sucks and is explosive Great, now Angela has brought Jesus into this Huh we don't usually see Libby's mom MY GOD WHY DOES LIBBY'S FAMILY HATE MOLDOVA SO MUCH PLENTY OF PLACES IN THE US LOOK JUST LIKE WHAT WE'VE SEEN OF MOLDOVA! DO THEY KNOW THE US IS MORE THAN JUST FLORIDA? Wow this food looks good So far, Libby's mom seems good Andrei fully apologized it is YOU that DID NOT Yes, forced singing is never awkward I will say though that this was a nice question about Moldova Colt, you don't have friends Colt looks annoyed that his manipulation isn't working Honestly, Jess, just go to Vegas and have a kick ass time without Colt Tania, you phrased your thanks to Syngin in the worst way possible This is not a conversation to have in front of Syngin's family You all shouldn...

Hey All, I'm mostly writing this so I don't have to keep typing it out over and over again, but you are in no way obligated to read this if you don't want the details. Yesterday, my friend Kimi and I were eating lunch in the grass of a park. I had Velma on her leash and in my lap. A young boy (8ish?) was approaching with his dog who seemed like he (I think it was a male dog but tbh I am not 100% sure) wanted to say hello to Velma. Before I could even say hi to the dog, the dog had Velma in his mouth.  It took me and the adult owner of the dog several minutes to get Velma free. We punched and kicked the dog and the owner wrestled him. I got very scared when the young boy said "It's dead." While Velma was not in fact dead, she was severely injured. Once we got her free, I picked her up and moved her several yards away from the dog (the dog at this point was pinned to the ground by the full weight of his owner). I put pressure on her wound and then Kimi gave me a...

 I wonder if Brittany is ever going to talk about how she's married... See? I knew Drascilla would be fine My god, Deavan's mom needs to calm down Like I get being spooked by Drascilla running, but then you need to calm down and apologize for yelling My god, Elicia, you're so rude Deavan...this is not what indicates Jihoon isn't ready Yeah in this I am on Jihoon's side Yikes, Deavan, you need to have some sympathy I totally get being mad about him lying and not helping you pay for things for the baby, but like jeez he made a little mistake and Drascilla is fine I don't think the size of the apartment was the problem, Biniyam...it was that it wasn't Westernized To be fair, an Ethiopian woman could also take a kid away form him There is no way Ari is going to convert Who are these people who aren't Kenny's daughters? Ah Rita and Charles are their names I feel like Rita and Charles are surrogate parents to Armando Brittany, YOU ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH YA...

 Time for a WILD party. Luann...your experience is drastically different than most people who went to jail Yikes, he was in solitary confinement? God, Luann, your pain is not the same as the rest of these people's Wow not that many women seem interested in a spa day Luann, how you can help is give money to the organization and help get them jobs Mario you are supposed to say that you love Ramona, at least as your daughter's mother I'm surprised Sonja was kicked out Okay, guys, please wear black...I would be so annoyed if I had a theme and then people didn't follow it Part of me really wants Dorinda to wear that dress and breast plate I didn't know that Ramona had a sister, but boy do they look alike Dear god is no one wearing black, you all have black outfits I would be so disturbed if someone walked into my party and said "Do you have a knife?" Lots of people wear black to a party, Sonja Ramona, say hi to Leah Dorinda didn't wear the breast plate, boo...

 I'm excited to see more Beserkshires shenanigans. Poor delivery guy Ramona, you were shocked by Dorinda's housekeeper doing her job? I am willing to accept that the burlesque cabaret is different than what Luann does, but I think they're pretty similar in quality Luann, just because you're the star doesn't mean you can make being in it cost Sonja money When did Sonja get drunk? Luann, please don't bug Dorinda's housekeeper Luann, Sonja is clearly drunk...why are you having this conversation now? I think Luann could afford to pay all of her performers more And now we're bringing up the mugshot again What the Hell is Leah's COVID interview look? Dorinda, Luann's mugshot has nothing to do with her not paying Sonja Leaving is a solid plan, Luann Dorinda smokes? To be fair, Dorinda didn't throw Luann out Sonja needs to be more careful because now she's fallen off a chair twice Luann...the crying seems fake, but I do believe you're upset P...

 Guess we're not feeling Jovani. This voicemail series is very funny It is weird that Ramona would say Elyse isn't her friend considering she keeps inviting her to stuff Ramona may be on to something with saying that Dorinda is only finally really dealing with Richard's death I hope Dorinda still has the fish room I love that Dorinda put the shark in the bed The house does look great Ramona you are 100% lying that you don't talk about your issues to other people and don't get other women involved Luann is correct that Ramona's toast was super rude Ramona, I don't think you have 50 close friends. I do think you have 50 friends, but I doubt they're all close "I'm not running away," Ramona says as she walks away from a conversation she doesn't want to have Dorinda, you definitely forgave Ramona faster than Elyse I LOVE the dragon things in the fireplace Oh man now I want pizza "I want someone to put their tongue in my butt" Luann...

 Time for 12/12! I was pretty shocked there was more than one Halloween episode Oh man there are some COVID-taped reactions I'm uncomfortable with Voodoo as a party theme I wonder if ramona is going to find someone who meets her standards So is Elyse going to get promoted to Housewife? My god could they have gotten these ladies better audio equipment? Hannah is beautiful While there is a difference between 17 and 19, I think both are young to kick your kid out when you have the means to take care of them Kiki is a funny kid I wonder what Rob thinks of being compared to Leah's mom It is rude to invite Luann's ex's girlfriend Some of these decorations are great, but some are veves which I do not think are okay to use for this purpose There are dead animals because that's where meat comes from I'm getting so uncomfortable with these costumes Is Sonja already drunk? Dorinda, no offence, but your decorations are much cheesier (which I love as a Halloween aesthetic bt...

 Double trouble! I didn't know there was this history of dating foreign men Boy do they want to emphasize that they're twins BOOOO Jesse I totally forgot that Darcey wasn't always blond Darcey, is it breaking free if he duped you? BOOOO Tom Florian is hot Florian looks like a different person from that low level You shouldn't propose 10 days after meeting K1 visa time! They are itty bitty This opening feels James Bondesque Are you two going to the same place? If so, you don't need two cars Yep, they didn't need to take two cars Of course they're wearing their products The editors know what they're doing that they edited them saying "We wanted to go pro" into them utterly failing at tennis WHOA THEY LOOK SO DIFFERENT Just because they remembered you because you were twins doesn't mean they actually remembered anything else about you Yes, Darcey on dating apps Wow we're already trying to one upping  My god there is always this underlying ...

 I am excited for this episode. Well Libby it was a good idea to wait until Andrei was sober to have this conversation Andrei and Libby's family need to apologize to each other I mean I think it does say something that Andrei is saying sorry Andrei does seem sorry Libby...you are already married...what does it matter? Are you just looking for leverage? What does the K stand for on Angela's necklace? Making sure people know what marriage means isn't a bad idea Now I do believe this is a real thing that Happens in Nigeria, but it does feel like something the producers made up Ah so Angela has been married before Why are there keys in the door? "Angela, satisfy him sexually" Wow it is a lot to be total to submit totally Angela, don't bring up this stuff now...it seems like you need their permission to marry Has this man said a single thing? Ah well he told them they were qualified for the marriage Why does Eric need that many eggs? I don't like Eric...he is g...

 SpooOOooky Halloween episode (kinda)! Ramona is really good at flirting Why does Voodoo=corsets? It is BS that Luann doesn't pay Sonja for cabaret I would HATE it if there was interactive horror when I didn't sign up for it Luann...you do know that's not what cougars look like, right? "I wanna see myself coming" I already hate this I guess we'll see how Tinsley and Scott go this time... I still don't think I've ever heard of Century 21 I don't think Ramona has to make her birthday party about other people My god, Ramona, can't you have one night out with just your friends? This dude seems creepy Oh wait I missed that Tinsley was moving right away Is building a closet really that big of a deal? I got so nervous when there was a shot of their drinks Everyone is acting like Chicago is impossibly far away and like they have a ton of money so visiting is easy I wonder if Tinsley will be the start of a Real Housewives of Chicago What did Sonja bring...

 If you have been looking at the news lately, you've seen stories about removed mailboxes , worries about delivering ballots on time , and more. If you want to support USPS, here are some ways. Buy stamps for yourself or for charities, please tell me if you know of more that take them (so far I have only found  Ronald McDonald House  but if you get in touch with me, you can donate postcard stamps to Indivisible Chicago ) Don't need/want stamps? USPS has lots of other gift items you can explore Call your senators. The American Postal Workers Union (APWU) has some guidance Email, mail, fax your representatives or leave a comment on their website. Don't know your reps' contact info? Go here  and enter your address. I suggest a modified version of the APWU statement: The Postal Service is in a crisis, caused by the Coronavirus, and Congress needs to act, urgently. The Coronavirus shutdown is plummeting postal revenues while increasing costs. The Postal Service could r...

 Still in the smallest state. Elyse is trying to hard to be a new housewife Drinking to forget isn't healthy Okay so so far so good with Leah's sister Tinsley...did you make out with your sister in your 30s? I don't think that's good... I love that Sonja has sparkly pants If I was Tinsely, I would be annoyed that no one was sitting at the table Sonja, you would 100% be mad if you planned a night and then people didn't do whatever you planned Ramona, you said you didn't want to be embarrassed but these people are sharing olives and you won't even acknowledge Tinsley I would be annoyed if I was that guy too, but I also wouldn't have signed the release form Saying Leah's sister is guilty by association makes no sense, Ramona Was Ramona choking herslef with corn? Dorinda, your night in sounds great Is Sonja making squash earmuffs Sweater man is great Ramona, did you say Leah's sister was a demon? I love that Leah threw a ravioli Ramona you are so rud...

 Let's see how crazy you can get in Rhode Island! My god Sonja, do you think only babies use pillows? If Newport has the same population of Palm Beach...are we going to run into Tom? Newport does look pretty Leah...why suggest that the guy sucks dick? I love how stressed the driver looks Why did Dorinda come separately? Ah Leah is gonna be upset, not eat, and then drink Elyse isn't a Real Housewife so idk how you're all saying this is just a your clique group when your group is defined as the Real Housewives... Rescinding the invitation is rude There is so much foreshadowing about how Leah is gonna lose it Should Leah have asked before? Sure. Is it rude to rescind an invite when you granted it? Yes. Well, to be fair, Ramona is monitoring Leah because last time she threw fire "Am I gonna get thrown out of Rhode Island?" Sonja is playing with Tinsley because she wants to feel her up, legit Did Leah try to kick the camera? It's insane that Tinsley and Dorinda are...

 Let's go to a Russian bath house! Yick, it's no fun to watch someone vomit I don't think Tinsley saying "Fuck you bitch, mind your business" would not help Interventions aren't what you use for this situation, Leah I can see how Dorinda would carry anger about Richard's death. She was cheated Oh Leah, you know people aren't going to like it They weren't going to steal it, Tinsley dear lord I love how Ramona never misses a chance to dis someone Sonja...do you think prisons looks like a spa? I love how now I've seen this bush beating massage on two reality shows that I watch Wait Ramona found it sensual? Okay, sure "I don't know what it does, but it works." How can it be working if you don't know what it does? Dorinda...how is calling out Ramona on her habits helpful in addressing how you handle your anger? Leah...do you think twins share souls? I would be so mad if my boyfriend sent a nude picture of me to someone else Huh...i...

 I actually don't remember the preview for this week so I don't know what to expect. Kenny...do you think you can open a bank account in Spanish? Ah I see...Kenny lied.  Oh but it's a good lie. I thought he was gonna say that he was going to the hotel to like enjoy the air conditioning or something Yikes Kenny lived through rough stuff I'm not convinced Armando is ready for the proposal, but I am glad that Kenny's kids can meet Armando Yes, Brittany, you do need to learn about the culture but you also need to tell him you're married You also certainly need to have your hair covered in a mosque Man if we hadn't seen the screaming fights Yazan and Brittany have gotten into then this would be sweet Taeyung is super cute This apartment looks nice and the playground is a huge plus I don't get why Melyza doesn't want to mess up Tim and her dad's relationship Melyza's dad is reacting so reasonably...that is so rare for this show I think Melyza and T...

 Trips always breed contempt. Martin is so blunt and seems like a cartoon character Tinsley boxing is comedy gold Yeah I don't get why Dorinda is so hard on Tinsley Dear god Luann has no idea about how most apartments look Luann, falling in the bushes wasn't the biggest problem you had from drinking...remember how your kids sued you? Some people don't have control over alcohol, Tinsley Luann, I honestly doubt that you've developed this sense of control in like a year Wait is it a breakup or a break, Dorinda? Dorinda...you say Tinsley doesn't open up but you let everyone find out about your break up through Page 6? Wow all the housewives are single...I think this is a first Hahahahahaha it's called Weed Orchards "Welcome to the farm" sounds so creepy Breakfast wine isn't normal I do enjoy that giant glass with no base Dorinda, I really don't get why you dislike Tinsley this much "I can't edit myself to dumbness" So...is Elyse going...

 I wonder if this season peaked at the torch throwing. Okay "Just the Sip" is a hilarious episode title Oh man, I didn't expect to see Jacques again Luann are you actually happy Jacques is engaged? Jacques is a comedian? I think Dorinda has stuff being dredged up because she knows if Richard was alive then she would have help with everything she's going through Sonja, starving yourself is bad Dear lord did Dorinda just say that a size 6 is a full figured woman? Ah, bye Bruce Huh I would've thought Sonja's name would get her more sales than 500 pieces Honestly, I've never heard of Century 21 Gotta love when there's an excuse to show lowlights If I was Luann's daughter, I'd be so mad to see her drink vodka I do think the mix of comedy and really rough topics is hard to make work Okay this slide is amazing Man not much happened this episode Tinsley is not intimidated by a butterfly Eh fighting at an anti-bullying event is not nearly as bad as the ...

 Can't wait to see the fallout from the crazy night. This ugly designer dress Tinsley is in reminds me why I stopped watching Project Runway Seriously, just tell Sonja a spider is a good sign...make up some bullshit about how it's good luck because spider are nature weavers or something It is weird that Tinsley wasn't given heels Appreciating the spectacle is definitely the right way to take this show, Ramona Luann, those hairdressers aren't for you! Tinsley, if you stained the sheets...just pay for new ones How are tiki torches Game of Thrones ? Sonja is planning her fashion show...so you do know what she's doing Sonja did you say you're hiring 14 year old models? Your line isn't for kids I mean you drinking isn't the end of the world, Leah, but there is now going to be footage of you naked throwing fire on national television To be fair, Ramona did try asking them if they wanted something and they ignored her I will say that "Married to the Mob...