Banana Boye

There once was a boy called Banana Boye. He bought bananas by the dozen and gave them out to all he met. He dressed himself in all yellow clothes from Banana Republic, except on special occasions when he donned his ceremonial banana costume. He used Banana Boat sunscreen and found banana scented lotion, body wash, and shampoo. He only drank banana soda, wine with banana notes, and banana ales. His favorite game was Bananagrams. He decked out his house in yellow and fabric with bananas printed on it. All who knew him never knew his original name, for he was just the town's Banana Boye.

It never occurred to Banana Boye that there could be other food boyes out there. Surely, Banana Boye was unique in his passion for a fruit. But one day, Apple Adam rolled into town. He had bushels of apples that handed out to the confused neighbors of Banana Boye. They were shocked to see someone dressed in all the colors of apples as well as clothing branded with the Apple logo (he also bought his technology exclusively from Apple). He wasn't in an apple costume, but the neighbors of Banana Boye just assumed he had one. He went shopping in town to find apple cider (both hard and regular), apple cider donuts, applesauce, apple pie, and apple strudel. He started inviting people to play Apples to Apples with him. A few hesitant neighbors asked his original name, but he insisted he had always been called Apple Adam.

Banana Boye only discovered Apple Adam as he was walking home, handing out bananas. He at first didn't notice Apple Adam, but then he tried to hand Apple Adam a banana. "Have a banana and a good day, good sir!"

For the first time, his banana was not accepted. "I'm sorry, friend, but apples are clearly the superior fruit. Perhaps you would like to try one?"

Banana Boye stopped and looked at who would be so bold as to reject his banana. He appraised this man, dressed in things inspired by a far inferior fruit and held back a snort. "My name is Banana Boye, good sir. Surely you understand."

Apple Adam looked at Banana Boye and wondered what could inspire anyone to like a fruit that isn't an apple. "Well I'm Apple Adam. There is no fruit better than an apple." Apple Adam rummaged in his sack of apples and found a yellow one. "Perhaps this would be a good starter apple for you."

Banana Boye smacked the apple out of his hand. "This means a duel sir! Fruits at dawn!"

"Have it your way, friend," replied Apple Adam as he smugly bit into his apple.

At dawn the next morning, all the neighbors gathered to watch the duel. Apple Adam and Banana Boye squared off and walked ten paces away from each other. They each drew their fruit and, on the count of ten, began throwing fruit at each other.

Banana Boye Took an apple to his throat and Apple Adam exclaimed with glee, "Nothing hurts more than an apple to your apple!"

Banana Boye grinned through his pain and watched as Apple Adam smugly stepped forward to throw another apple, but thinking that fallen bananas could no longer be a threat, he accidentally slipped on a banana peel. Banana Boye saw his chance and rushed forward. He loomed over Apple Adam, Pointing another banana in his face, Banana Boye said triumphantly, "This is banana town."

Apple Adam was never seen again.

(Prompt by Ruairi Kennedy)