So probably the worst advice I got was just really conflicting pieces of advice. At different points in time I asked my parents for advice about choosing a career path. For background, my dad did corporate finance investing stuff I never fully understood and my mom worked in literacy nonprofits. I don't remember how old I was when I asked for this advice, but I think I was in college at least. I also don't remember if I asked them for advice close together, but I think it was close enough together because I always link these two conversations in my mind.
Again, I don't remember much of either conversation, but I remember the summary of each. My dad, the corporate one, told me to do something I loved and my mom, the nonprofit one, said to do something that could definitely pay the bills. I was a bit baffled. Surely the opposite would've been true? Did both of my parents want me to take a different path than them? Did they have regrets? Did confusion over career paths not lessen with time? Now this isn't to say that either of my parents regretted their career paths--you'd have to ask them that and I somehow doubt it. My dad was able to retire early and pay for the majority of mine and my brother's educations, and my mom made a real difference, so I think there are real benefits to each path they chose.
So it's not exactly that their advice was inherently bad: doing what you love and being sure you can support yourself are both pieces of good advice. It was the contrast that was striking to me. Should I pursue a job that I love even if it meant I wasn't financially secure or should I sacrifice satisfaction for security? Obviously, in an ideal world I would find a job that I both find fulfilling and that pays the bills and then some, but how many people can say they have that job? Honestly, I'm happy for you if that's the case because wow you won!
I think like many people I've wondered where my career is headed at various points, especially in my early 20s. I started off thinking I wanted to do museum work, but then I leaned toward publishing. I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes think of finding a different nonprofit to work for--one that I felt was really making a difference. I look on jealously at other presses that do more for events like Earth Day and news events often make me want to take up the charge of one cause or another; our world needs so much fixing and so much healing. I want my work to mean something; I want to make a difference and I'm not always convinced I do that even in a small way, even in the way I'm meant to (but maybe some of that is imposter syndrome, my dear old friend). However, I also want to have children one day and I want to be able to support them. Not a lot of nonprofit jobs can do that. So you can see how my parents' advice hasn't helped sort out this confusion for me.
Maybe this isn't the worst advice I've ever been given, but I couldn't think of anything else. Nothing catastrophic or even embarrassing happened as a result of the advice. I was just confused and a bit disconcerted. I still think about these conversations from time to time as I wonder where my career will take me next. I wish I remembered more of them; maybe context would give these summaries (as I called them) a different angle that I'm not seeing right now, maybe other parts of the conversation would give me better advice. I also doubt that either parent remembers giving this advice and may give me different advice if I asked today. They may also remember the conversation and be able to tell me what they fully meant by their comments (well not my dad, but maybe my mom). Anyways, I just don't want anyone thinking ill of them from this post.
What's the worst advice you've ever been given? I'm genuinely curious.
(Prompt provided by Brianna Aaron)
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