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Two phone scammers unknowingly try to scam each other

 "Hello."

"Hello."

"Your family member was mugged."

"Oh dear, I was hoping to call you to tell you you'd won the lottery."

"We need you to wire one thousand dollars immediately so they can get home."

"I need you to confirm your social security number so that I can confirm you are the lottery winner."

"If you provide your email address, I will provide you with the bank information for the wire transfer. It is my bank account, but I am helping your family member and will give them the cash immediately."

"Once you have confirmed your social security number, I will need your address so I can send you the lottery check."

"Can I get your email?"

"Sure it's f_a_k_e@gmail.com."

"Thank you for providing that, I'm sending over the bank details now."

"Can I get your address?"

"Yes it's 123 Faux Boulevard, Fausse, Louisiana."

"Thank you."

"Hrm it seems that I got an email bounceback, can you please confirm your email?"

"That's odd, let me check my spam folder."

"No that's not--"

"Can you please provide your social security number so we can confirm your identity."

"Well--"

"It's the safest way for us to ensure that the $10 million is going to the correct person. We'd hate to make a mistake on something like that."

"Of course."

"..."

"..."

"So your social?"

"Oh yes, it's 123-45-6789."

"What a unique number!"

"...isn't that the point of socials? To be unique?"

"Well yes, I guess I more meant, what an easy one to remember."

"Well someone has to have that one, don't they?"

"Yes, I suppose they do."

"So have you checked your spam folder?"

"Oh, right. Uh no, it's not there. Are you sure you sent it to f_a_k_e@gmail.com?"

"Yes."

"Oh sorry, it's _f_a_k_e@gmail.com."

"Nope, still a bounce back."

"Sorry, try _f_a_k_e_@gmail.com."

"Okay, I will. Huh, that went through."

"Of course it did, it's my email, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose it is. Please wire the money as soon as you can. I really am trying to help your family member."

"What happened to them?"

"They were mugged. Their wallet and all IDs taken along with their cell phone. They remembered your number though so I could call you."

"Can I speak to them?"

"No, they're talking to the police now."

"The police, sounds serious."

"...yes, they were mugged."

"Of course, of course. I just hope the police can help."

"Yes."

"It'd be a shame, just robbing someone like that."

"Absolutely."

"You know, I heard a common rouse was to pretend to be helping them or to need help and then ask for money."

"You don't say."

"You know you sound familiar, do I know you?"

"I--I don't think so? Maybe I just have one of those voices."

"Oh, wait, Bob, is that you?"

"Yeah. Wait, is that Yvonne?"

"Yeah! I didn't know you'd moved your scam!"

"I didn't know you were still in the fake lottery game."

"Hey, it pays the bills."

"It sure does."

"I thought it was you."

"What gave it away?"

"The social security number rung a bell in my head."

"Oh yeah, that's one of my fake IDs, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it was."

"Well your fake email was pretty obvious."

"Hey, it was worth a shot."

"Just have a fake email set up to give out, it's not like it's hard to make a new email."

"Fair enough. Well I guess this call isn't going anywhere."

"Maybe this call could go to coffee?"

"Oh ho, aren't you slick?"

"That's how I make my money."

"Okay, sure. Let's meet at our old haunt."

"Perfect, in twenty?"

"You're eager."

"You know it."

"Yeah, work is flexible after all, so I'll meet you there in twenty."

"See you then, bye!"

"Bye!"

(Prompt by Kimisha Cassidy)

"Phones" by Mussi Katz


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