I once had a bad date (well more than once, but this is a particular date). It was a live podcast taping, which is actually a fun idea for a date. However, the comedians started talking about suicide and, at the time, someone very close to me was suicidal. They also talked about like how to make it clean and just things that completely made me lose any airs of fun. Furthermore, I had gotten dressed up and hiked myself up to the north side and yet, my date didn't give me a single compliment. Not even a "you look nice" which is very basic and would've gone a long way.
At the end of the taping, I quickly made my exit as I didn't know what to say. I called an Uber Pool (remember that) and climbed in. One of my friends texted that he was also having a bad night and so I called him. I expressed how the evening had made me uncomfortable and I felt like my date didn't appreciate my effort. I mean, I could've been home, in comfy pajamas watching Netflix but I had taken the time and expense to get dressed up and make my way to a place that was convenient for him for a show he wanted to see. I told my friend on the phone that the next time he was on a date that he should at least tell his date she looked nice because that would've made me feel a lot better.
During this call, someone else had joined the Uber Pool and had climbed in the front seat. I knew I was being a bit rude being on the phone, but my friend needed to talk and I needed to talk so I settled for being a bit rude. Then, the Uber pulled over at an apartment building, the stop for my fellow rider I assumed. The rider unbuckled his seat belt, turned to me and said, "Holly, you look really nice tonight."
I was stunned. I think I said, "Thank you," or something to that effect but I wanted to say so much more. I hadn't said to my friend on the phone the whole thing about how I had a loved one who was suicidal. I think I had mostly expressed that the date hadn't gone well and I wanted to have a little bit of appreciation for my effort (after all, I had thanked him for the tickets and arranging the date). But I wish I had said more to this fellow rider.
In my mind, I wish I'd chased after him to explain what that meant to me to explain that he didn't know what a kindness he'd done. But instead, I sat stunned with the driver who did the equivalent of a low impressed whistle.
I wrote the driver a note in my phone that I still keep, but haven't shared with anyone, but I suppose I'm sharing the gist now.
This one comment is something that I wish I could pay forward. To say the right thing to a stranger when they need it the most. I'm not sure I have the boldness to do such a thing or the perception to know when someone would be open to a stranger offering them comfort, but this moment made such an impression on me that I wish I could pass it along.
There are plenty of other things that friends have done for me that I try to pay forward, but this moment with a complete stranger is just something that I hold dear to my heart.
(Prompt provided by Eleanor Pratt)
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