I suppose I say yes to many small things without thinking. Though I don't think that's what this prompt is getting at. After all, who'd want to read about me saying yes, actually, I would like you to pass the salt?
Instead, I picked to write about what stood out in my mind when I thought over this prompt (which I did for some time).
At my cousin's memorial service in Waltham, MA, I met "the girls." "The girls" were two women--I think about my age, but I'm also notoriously terrible at telling such things--who lived together in a renovated bus on my cousin and her wife's land in Vermont. They stood together and took some turns reading wonderfully touching and heartfelt words about my cousin--whom they said they viewed as a mother. While it was immensely meaningful, it was, understandably, difficult for the two of them to get through.
I read some words myself, but I struggled as well. In order not to cry throughout the whole--brief-- speech, I mostly looked at my phone--where I'd written my draft. I did manage some looks at my mom and at my cousin's wife. When I finished, one of the girls handed me a tissue and I was very thankful.
After the speaking portion of the service had concluded, one of the girls--the one who had handed me the tissue--came up and we wrapped each other in a fierce hug. "We should be best friends," she said. I nodded and asked if she liked to get mail. She said she did and I told her I'd send her and her partner mail as soon as I got back.
It didn't occur to me to say no. This person was my cousin's daughter (sure, not biologically, but what did that matter, really?). That made us cousins. That made us family.
I don't have a large family, so adding two more to it sounded wonderful. I also just love sending and receiving mail--it always brightens my day to do either. Mail also allows for prolonged, but quite thoughtful, conversation. With my regular pen pals, we check in about things ranging from work to family to what we're reading to thoughts on reality TV. I love hearing and writing about it all (seriously, let me know if you'd like to be pen pals). But I digress.
Establishing a relationship with "the girls" is something I said yes to without hesitation. If I had spent more time with my cousin as an adult, I would have probably done this sooner. But, as much as I may regret not spending more time with her and her wife, I cannot change that. I can change how much contact I have with my cousin's wife (whom I also told I'd send mail to) and with their chosen daughters.
By doing so, perhaps I'll even learn more about my cousin that I didn't know. I think that's one of the curious things about memorial services and the like--you think you know someone, but you learn so much more about them. Continuing those conversations seems like a way to honor loved ones who have passed.
Perhaps that's another reason I didn't hesitate to start this bond. It was a way to honor my cousin and to learn more about her.
I truly wish I had gotten to know "the girls" sooner and with my cousin at our sides, but that's not something I can make true. For now, I will say yes to getting to know them, to forming a bond, and to honoring my cousin and her chosen daughters.
(Prompt provided by Kimisha Cassidy)
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