Fifteen Minutes of Scrawl

 Time for a wild ride. I love how Lu is like "I'm not being considered" but someone had to have that room "Bitch I'm going to see you on the tennis court" This tennis coach is very hot Dorinda why would you offer Luann alcohol Dorinda, you are not qualified to diagnose alcoholism Ramona, you can hire someone to grill for you Uh, Leah, Luann should worry what her children think The dog groomer isn't as hot as the tennis coach When they tell you the time throughout an episode, you know it's gonna be nuts Jack isn't wearing a lot of color, Ramona It is weird that there is just one guy "Drink, bitch" Why was Elyse invited? Did the producers invite her? Why does Sonja have a vibrator? Good call in leaving, Jack Ramona conveniently doesn't remember when she's super rude like saying Dorinda is gonna have a new boyfriend in two years Yes, Tinsley, when you get in the pool, your eyelashes get wet LEAH DON'T THROW ALCOHOL AT FIRE Ramo...

 I feel like no huge drama has happened yet. Luann, one spider does not a spider problem make Every season must have a drink tasting thing Dorinda, why are you so convinced Luann is on her boat Yeah I agree with Leah that it was insane to invite Luann to a winery Aw Ramona, I want to give you a hug Wait how is Bruce taking Tinsley for granted? It feels pretty harsh to not take your teenaged kid back when they're struggling but I'm glad it worked for Leah Thank god Ramona is getting therapy Dorinda, you do need to take time for you "Then you die and you catch some dick on the way" Sonja's story seems incoherent, but that may be the editing Ugh does Ramona still like Trump? I hope the Real Housewives of Atlanta come for Ramona for saying Luann's dress would fit in in Atlanta This house is too big That huge mirror is dumb How does this feel like Eyes Wide Shut ? RAMONA YOU'RE SO RUDE "With Sonja I have to bring myself down" What was wrong with Joe...

 Let's keep it going! My god how do people care this much about what Tinsley's relationship is like? Maybe she bought a bunch of stuff after the break up because she wanted to try retail therapy Beautiful people can have tattoos, Sonja Yes, please tell men your RLM tattoo means 'really lusty moment' Ah so Luann never changed her last name Ramona vision boarded a man Is this the Real Housewives iteration the one with the most single women? This weekend won't be fun My god do all of the women on this show name their pairs of dogs whose name goes together You...don't need to speak Chinese to talk to your dogs I would love it if Tinsley wrote up signs during a fight A frozé machine is a perfect Ramona gift All alcohol is poison, Sonja Leah's see-through hat is so dumb because I see ALL of the tag Luann...I thought you said you didn't need favoritism...also I would love to have that space to get away on a Housewives weekend If you wanna cry, Dorinda, cry Is i...

 It's fight night! Jess storming off was a good call, she needed to calm down Colt I don't think you understand what cheating is...it's being with two people without them knowing Also, Colt, you do want Vanessa Colt, you may be upset, but you are not paralyzed by fear Debbie is now planting the idea that Jess will murder him? So Asuelu believes in ghosts I guess believing in ghosts is what Kalani and Asuelu have in common Kolini! No, she doesn't like you, Asuelu...she's been SO clear about that I feel like more of the family should know sign language Aw the family hugs are cute That was a long kiss between Asuelu and his mom I love how no one mentions the other kids like Asuelu says that he's glad to see his mom and sister but not his nieces and nephews Kalani and Asuelue arguing about how the kiss went is comedy gold Yes, Carmen, Larissa shouldn't be with someone calling the cops on her Lol of course it was an Amazon package Larissa knocking on the windows ...

 Yes, I am just adding another reality show to the mix. I'm gonna miss Bethenny, she was my favorite I really don't think Luann should be filming because I don't think it mixes well with staying sober Lu, yes you needed to focus on you, but I hope you can also understand what it is like for the loved ones of alcoholics My god, why bring up the truffle fries, Sonja? Sonja eating a sandwich while hugging Luann is iconic Tinsley is proving to be one of the longer lasting "new" housewives I feel like I've heard Leah is wild Yeah I definitely talk to my dog and to little kids the same way Wow Leah's ex-boyfriend sounds like trash. You can't put your divorce on hold and not tell you girlfriend right away "I just find men useless right now." So far, Leah is starting out strong I like that Dorinda is happy Yes, John, lots of people get off parole but it's a big deal because she's one of the other main cast members on the show your girlfriend ...

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST EPISODE THAT STARTS WITH ALL OF THE COUPLES REUNITED? Biniyam's brother looks so old To be fair, plenty of American food gives people stomach aches sometimes I feel like Ariela shouldn't eat the raw meat though At least Ariela's mom accepted the tradition of letting people feed her Why doesn't Ariela's family come to Ethiopia so Ariela doesn't have to travel with a baby? THIS ISN'T THE PAST, JIHOON'S MOM! IT'S THE PRESENT Jihoon finds Deavan by the light of the camerman She was pregnant with your child and you didn't want to take her seriously? Deavan doesn't believe it because you've done nothing to show her she can believe it Jihoon's dad has a headache How are you not questioning whether your son loves her? Deavan looks ill Melyza's apartment is beautiful How did Cheesestick and Melyza's dad get so close if they don't speak the same language? Melyza, it's more than understandable if you don...

This episode looks like it'll be good. The producers are mean for encouraging this Can Eric not even afford a phone? "Bitch, my face is 10,000 buck" Does Dolly Parton wear a lot of robes? Larissa shouldn't be with Eric. Should she date Yolanda? I think so I'm so confused about if anyone is happy that Andrei is staying at home Hey Libby and Andrei, fun fact, whether or not you have a second wedding you are still married and have all the same problems Where's Kalani and Asuelu's other baby? I was about to say Kalani was being cheap with the cans, but if that big can is $48 it's more expensive than I think Asuelu, you can't afford this! I get really annoyed when people say God will just do stuff like make sure you can give your mom $1,000 and still have money to pay your monthly bills when you make $1,000/month "Don't scroll your eyes" Debbie is SO RUDE. She said she was surprised Jess's family was nice! Colt...were you trying to sne...